I feel alone, ugly, discarded. I try not to be horrifically selfish and criticize myself - I try to actually use the brain I have been given and think for once deeper, with more meaning, clearer, but clarity eludes me.
I feel alone. I had so many wonderful people in my life, and they've all disappeared. It was mostly my fault - leaving so suddenly, giving cause to anger, disappointment, perhaps even something more sinister. I try to explain what happened, I try to tell them about my life, but instead of finding the support I hoped to have, they only offer friendly criticism, sadness, and suggestions I never wished to hear.
I've taken to re-read all the Harry Potter books, from last to first. It has kept my mind and imagination occupied. It's interesting to read them in this order...easier to see how everything connects. I enjoy finding the subtle relationships that run from book to book. Regardless of the entertainment, I am often astounded at how well thought everything in the little world is shown to me - props to J.K. Rowling, I have always admired her style.
I've kept myself distracted and occupied with busy-work here. Alicia gave me the opportunity to decorate her office; it's been a wonderful experience. I think one of the most surprising qualities about this place are the people and the friendliness they all exude. I will miss it when I return home.
I need a massage.
Here's one of 3 I did for little Hannah's new bedroom.
Fairest of them all...
My fall pumpkins